Be a Best Friend
An Inner Dialogue With the Best Friend in my Head
For this new year I only want best friends and that is what I want for you too.
But why?
Because you are lonely, sad, fearful and, moving like the only things that matter are money or resistance or being angry for having to do things to survive.
There are too many – so many opps and scammers.
Too much opposition and not enough allyship.
Best friend does not mean we believe the same thing.
But we do not want the other’s demise.
Nor does it mean that we will not grow apart.
It’s the growing that we should encourage.
Best friend is the soil that tends to and nurtures the roots.
So, we’re a tree now?
Yes, and it’s not us completely.
We’re racing - reaching towards the sky, the sun.
And we’re the sky.
It’s us being the sky and the sun in harmony, together.
Be for real, mama earth.
Best friends are two wigs right next to each other in the beauty supply store off of Malcolm X or MLK.
Poised.
And synthetic.
Perched.
Or human.
Both offering beauty for the onlooker.
And looking good on all or one but together offering a chance to be something else in its entirety.
Too Silly.
Best friends are to be silly and shameless.
Best friends means to grease your face.
Put on your scarf.
Take off your earrings.
Fuck. Shit. Up.
Best friend is knowing that someone will fight for you and so then you don’t have to.
Hood.
A best friend will stop you from judging yourself needlessly.
And will remind you to…
When you need it.
They will anchor you and you will anchor them.
Are you shipping me?
A best friend closes the door.
But she never locks it.
He’ll open up a new door up to invite you in.
They will stand there grinning.
With a joke - not like nothing ever happened but like everything happened the way it should have.
So, are you saying we should take a break?
Be a best friend that says the thing, in order not to be angry later.
And be the best friend who will not say the thing because they are angry now.
Be a best friend who can understand the difference while it’s happening.
So be ambiguous, obtuse, and…
Clear as day or as rough as eczema on an elbow, or a knee or a shin, or a cheek.
I’m not ashy.
A best friend is the most expensive moisturizer.
The Vaseline in the bottom of the bag.
The oldest balm.
A best friend is forgiveness.
So, we’re back at the beauty supply…
A best friend is not always reliable.
A best friend is someone you can count on.
A best friend will show you your humanity.
Be a best friend who holds up a mirror.
Be a best friend who you can trust.
Trust your best friend.
A best friend is not a bomb, or a gun, or a sniper funded by a nation filled with enemies.
I think you’re veering off course.
A best friend is a cease fire.
Wait…
A best friend is a boycott.
A best friend is not a student loan payment.
A best friend is a $20 venmo to a stranger who got locked up.
I mean sure but like is a best friend an Instagram repost?
A best friend is not always a comrade, but a comrade can become a best friend.
A best friend might hurt you.
But a best friend won’t ever kill you.
A best friend won’t even try.
A best friend can’t even consider it.
A best friend won’t invite the wrong person to the party.
A best friend might even come alone.
Whoa, but did I even invite them?
A best friend won’t usually need an invitation to show up.
A best friend knows when to stay home.
A best friend will be at home.
A best friend will be home.
Ok, what else?
A best friend is years past.
A best friend is a thick waist and white teeth, and a languid smile.
A best friend is the moment you’re first to the counter and the line begins to grow behind you.
I’m not sure about that last one.
A best friend is good.
Perfect Timing.
A best friend is late and still right on time.
A best friend is an experiment.
A list of the things you love.
Rattled off at any time.
A best friend.
Be a best friend.
Happy new year year! Thanks for reading.
I’ve been thinking about friendship so much in light of all the loss and suffering and resistance and politicization and organizing that is going on during this time of radical awakening.
I’ve got exciting announcements for the newsletter in the coming weeks, and new offerings for paid subscribers (HI!!!)! As the lunar new year approaches, I invite you to join me as we enter year two of this Tiny Violences thang.
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I had to read twice. This description of friendship is warm, nostalgic reminding you off all things good in life. Love love love it 🥰
This was everything I needed to read. Thank you.