Tiny Violences
How to Write About Your Body
Lie.
Be positive. It has to be positive. No matter what - it has to be unequivocally known that you’ve got an upbeat attitude, loving your body and whatever details included about it’s fragility, it’s endangerment, it’s turmoil or even failure (what’s that?) must be matched with it’s vibrant-hopeful counterpart.
unless you’re Black.
Don’t forget you must be grateful.
Points if you interpret a story from an ancestor (who suffered) that can be shaped into body positivity.
Make sure to cite the precedence for the above-mentioned gratitude by listing in detail all the previous apprehensions, and how through alchemy (or reading The Alchemist) you were transformed.
If you’re going to be snarky about it, make sure to reinforce that beauty preferences are in a vacuum and still wholly universal. Be sure to accentuate your body using pejoratives, ironically.
If you’re Black and you’re going to be snarky about it, don’t.
If you’re queer be sure to talk about sex, all the fabulous liberated gay sex you have with all your friends, exes, lovers, spouses and futures.
Be nebulous.
Mental health is not really a body thing.
Unless you’re white.
Make sure to talk about your PUSSY!
It’s power.
It’s prowess.
It’s potency.
It’s pop.
It’s poise.
It’s presence.
It’s persistence.
It’s potential.
It’s perfume.
It’s peace.
It’s pace.
It’s purpose.
It’s prerogative.
It’s patronage.
It’s perseverance.
It’s perversion.
It’s pull.
It’s pearl.
It’s parts.
It’s pep.
It’s prayer.
It’s peak.
It’s period.
It’s peach, plum or persimmon ripe sweet juiciness or whatever Zane may have alluded to back in the aughts.
(not) It’s performance.
Nor it’s pain.
Hybridize your ableist and transphobic portmanteau, i.e. womban.
Nationofislamize your gender, i.e. womxn.
Anti-ableist virtue signaling can also be useful, but maybe save it for your bio.
Anti-racist verbiage or as least words signaling towards a better world should go without saying, and often does.
Use a personal anecdote to show you’re relatable.
As a good jumping off point render a scene from a story between a mother and child, or some other role model with a looming presence who either embodied or revolted against the universal standards of what the body should be and who will ultimately implicate you as being incorrect, and thus creating the culture of shame you’ve healed from.
Colorism, leave that out.
Leave it in if you’re Black but only if you fall on the side of the colorline that has left you feeling bad.
If you were criminalized and/or terrorized because of where you land on the colorline see 8.
We get it life’s hard for your Black ass, but your skin is poppin. I wish I had skin like that, look, I’ve been in the sun and I’m almost as black as you. You’re so lucky!
Sexual assault can be tricky, but if you’re a #survivor – go for it!
If you’re just a survivor see 2 and 8!
If you’re recounting someone else’s story, see 1.
Trigger warnings!
Content warning if you’re going to say “trigger.”
Not necessary if you’re Black – we know, we get it, we get it.
Make something about sex work, even if they’re just contemplations.
Especially if you’re not a sex worker.
Redefine sex worker if you must!
Dysmorphia is always lot of fun and can elicit a ton of material.
Rendering the illusion of chafing thighs, bulging bellies, flabby arms, can really create a heightened state of corporality to a straight sized subject.
Leave out all the stuff about Black beauty currency, too specific. (i.e. BBLS, fillers, botox, spray tanning).
unless you’re Black and don’t want to be Black, then that’s just added texture.
If you’re Black use the names of makeup colors as sub headers.
Be sure to quote a Black feminist.
Points if she’s dark skinned.
More points if she’s not.
All the points if she’s from Instagram.
Self-harm is not as controversial as it sounds!
Anger >/ Sorrow. Why be mad or sad when you can be EMPOWERED!
End on a note of self-love and optimism and good health!
Remember a healing journey IS a hero’s journey, and your body is the setting!
Welcome to all the new and hello to all the loyal subscribers of Tiny Violences. I want to give a special thanks to the new paid subscribers, thanks so much! It’s virgo season and mercury retrograde, so I’m hiding out under a rock, until my birthday (this Friday!) It’s been a trying last couple of days, and an interesting summer, I’ve been working on essays for two upcoming publications that I’m enthusiastic about, and reading a lot. I joked the other day that I did all my summer reading last week. I had so many plans for this season, that did not happen, and I plan to muse about that soon.
Listing Tiny Violences is a way I confront some of the micro-traumas of my lived experience. This week they are thematic and somewhat chronological but don’t bet on that. Leave a comment a 🔪 to let me know you made it to the end.
Oh how I love me a list essay!! YOU ATE WITH THIS!! Flame emoji times a trillion!! Bravo.
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